


Peace of Mind

by MSpataro210



Category: DCU (Comics), Green Lantern Corps (Comics)
Genre: Blue Lantern Guy Gardner, F/M, Guy becomes comfortable in own skin, Guy finds inner peace, Guy has anger issues, Guy loses a ring, He gains a ring, Learning to be a better person, M/M, Meditation, Skinny Dipping, Yoga, and self-worth issues, can't emotionally communicate to the best of abilities, confronting long-run emotional issues, rock garden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6602071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSpataro210/pseuds/MSpataro210
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After coming back from the previous universe, Guy Gardner has had a lot on his mind.  He's not dealing with it well.  Now, after a pointless fight, he's lost his ring.  To get it back: prove to the Templar Guardians that he can control his anger.  The best person to help with this is no doubt a blue lantern.  But can Guy conquer his anger?  Can he discover why he lets his anger take over?  And in the end, will he want his ring back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peace of Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy!  
> I hope you like my foray into another area of the DCU! I'm branching out from usual BatFlash fics and thought this would be a nice start (Especially since it took me days!)  
> Thanks to my dear friend jessklewolf for reviewing my story to make sure it seems orderly and flow-y.  
> Enjoy!

            “…And so the Poozer gets right up in my face, _my face_ , and starts demandin’ I take it easy… so I did. I made them all do 500 push-ups. That was me bein’ _easy_ and- Are you even listening?”

            Guy Gardner shakes, arm slipping from the bar letting his face hit the metal.

            “What was that ‘fer?” Guy picks himself up, rubbing his nose.

            “For not listenin’ to my story,” the Bolovaxian smirks, “somethin’ on yer mind?”

            “What?” Guy laughs, “Nah, just zoning out. Must have heard that story before.” He picks up a glass from under the barand starts to scrub it with his rag.

            “No, I know that look,” Kilowog wipes the beer froth from his mouth, “you were somewhere else weren’t you?”

            “I was here,” Guy squints, “don’t really _feel_ like bein’ anywhere else, really.”

            “I meant in here,” Kilowog pokes at Guy’s head.

            “Off’a me!” Guy swats the digit away.

            “Somethin’ bothering ya’?” Kilowog props himself on the bar, hands under chin.

            “Like I’m one for sharing feelings,” Guy scoffs.

            Kilowog chuckles, “After a few drinks, anyone’s capable of anything.”

            “Takes more than a few drinks with me,” Guy smirks, “an’ even then my lips are sealed.”

            “C’mon! It’s me, Kilowog!” the drill sergeant smiles, “People confide in me!”

            “Well, good thing I ain’t got _nothing_ to confide.”

            “That’s not what I heard…”

            Guy stops his thoughtless motions. He slams the glass down and slaps the rag over his shoulder. He puts one hand on the bar to incline forward into Kilowog’s space.

            “And just _what_ did you hear with those tiny things?”

            Kilowog leans back, picking up his glass to finish off his drink. Once done, he continues.

            “Just something from John during our weekly spar,” the alien smiles, “he brought up the last mission you two were on, guest starring the Poozers who’ve taken over your beat.”

            Guy blanches, moving back a bit.

            “Oh yeah?” he continues, “Didn’t know you can find time to chat between punches?”

            “We do,” the other man replies, “Able to fit a whole story ‘bout the four of you caught up in a war between smugglers.”

            Guy thinks back on that day. It wasn’t that long ago, maybe a week. Guy and John had been on the trail of a group of pirates that meandered their way through Lantern territory. There were trace amounts of Qwardian energy on ship, so John opted to follow, dragging Guy along with him. He remembers his ignored attempts at protest, only following once the other Lantern promised to only do recon duty.

            The mission stopped being recon once they ran into Jessica Cruz and Simon Baz.

            The ship John and Guy were following stopped once it ran into another ship, which, surprisingly, was being followed by the Earth’s two newest Lanterns.

            “It wasn’t a war,” Guy bites.

            It was a slaughter. The ship he and John were following did contain Qwardian energy: in the form of three Yellow Lanterns. They were tearing through the enemy ship and its men.

            “Must not have been,” Kilowog challenges, “otherwise you would have been the first one on the battlefield.”

            Guy was holding John back. He can remember the look on his friend’s face as they waited, behind an asteroid. The darker Lantern was squeezing his fist erratically, sparks flying from his ring. Guy felt bad he was keeping him from the fight, but he knew he’d feel worse going in.

            “I was there eventually,” Guy defends behind tight lips.

            “Eventually,” Kilowog parrots back.

            Guy’s eyes widened when he saw two green flashes of light make their way onto the scene. They confronted the ships, firing into the expanse. He constructed a pair of binoculars to get a better look at the firefight. He recognizes the figures hidden within the beams. One, a new face he has only caught glimpses of. The other he knows better. Remembers that face from their time working together. Has been well acquainted with it even recently, in the dead of night.

            “Baz and Cruz! This far out?” Guy remembers John remarking, “Now we need to do something!”

            “What?” Gardner blinked.

            “I am not sitting here while our friends are knowingly putting their lives at risk,” John lit up, “I’m outta here.”

            Guy saw him fly into the fray not soon after.

            “John packed a lot into his punches the last time we sparred,” Kilowog scratches at his neck.

            “Almost knock you down?” Gardner comments.

            “As if.”

            Guy’s fingers started crushing the drifting space rock in his fingers. He looked away, lip caught between his teeth. He could feel his bones sing with a desire to join the fray, his ring glowing in anticipation. Guy knew that if he went in, it would not be pleasant: for the ones down there, and for him.

            His decision was made, though; by a stray yellow shot that travelled too close than it should have.

            Four bolts of light were in that space not soon after.

            “What did happen in the fight?” Kilowog asks, “That was the only I _couldn’t_ get out of John.”

            Guy turns his head to the side, eyes distant.

            He can remember hearing screams. How the uniforms from both ships blurring together. The feel of the blasters as they bounced off his shield, their only effect a slight tingle where they would have landed.

            The yellow lights extinguished not soon after he joined the fray. He didn’t stop fighting.

            He recalls weights forcing his arms back. Memorized the wild pattern he kicked into the obliqueness of space. Has the warm weight of hands tattooed onto his skin, as eyes he knows better than most things tries to talk sense into him.

            Guy broke free after staring too long at those eyes. And the lips.

            “I…” Guy tried to speak, breathes heaving in and out of him slowly. He whipped his head around, taking in the bodies floating, surrounding him.

            “I didn’t mean to,” he whispers, flying away from his friends.

            “Doesn’t matter,” Guy takes the rag from his shoulder, wiping the bar, “it was quick. Barely worth talkin’ bout.”

            “If you’re sure,” Kilowog mutters half-heartedly.

            “I _am_.”

            It’s silent. Kilowog plays with the empty glass in front of him. The air, having grown heavier since he sat down, now crushes the Lantern. Guy, for his part, tries to ignore the awkwardness. He scrubs at the metal, especially one stain in particular.

            “Stupid…fucking…what the hell?” he mutters, growing increasingly agitated, “why… can’t I… get rid of this kriffin’ spot!”

            “Hey, Guy!”

            “WHAT?”

            The bar immediately shuts down activity. Everyone in the place immediately turns their eyes on the owner. The rag is crushed between his fist.

            “Uhh,” the Lantern holds his glass in the air, “can I get another?”

            “What do _I_ look like, a bartender?” Guy barks.

            The man lowers his glass, looking at Guy strangely. “…Y-yes?”

            “Oh, so just because I look like a bartender?” Guy walks out from behind the bar, “That I _have_ to give you alcohol just because you _asked_?”

            “I mean, I think it’s in the job description-“

            “Well just because it _says_ I have to do so doesn’t mean I want to!” Guy explodes, “Why then, huh? Why!?!”

            “Hey,” the Lantern stands, finding his courage, “all I wanted was something to numb my brain I didn’t ask for a big glass of your problems!”

            Gardner stands eye to eye with the man. He can feel the hot breath of the other being on him. The crowd waits in anticipation. Kilowog has one hand on the bar, ready to push himself into the fray if need be.

            The bar doors open.

            “Hey,” Kyle says, “what’s goin’ on-“

            Guy throws the first punch.

* * *

             “We are very disappointed in you Lantern Gardner.”

            The Lantern Guardians sit around Guy behind a semi-circle table. He stands before them in their secret study, weight shifting from side to side. When he hears the opening statement, he laughs. Guy scuffs the blood dripping from his mouth, smearing it on his less then pristine white gloves. He smiles wryly at the ground.

            “You laugh at this?” Paalko, one of the Templar Guardians asks.

            “Maybe try something I haven’t heard before,” Guy smirks, looking at him.

            “Then how about this,” Paalko continues, “from this point on we are suspending you from active duty. Please turn in your ring.”

            “What?” Guy shouts, “You can’t do this!”

            “Yes we can, Lantern Gardener,” Quaros answers, “ever since the Lanterns elected us Templars as your new Guardians, it has been our duty to not only protect the Universe, but also the Corps.”

            “And what danger am _I_ to the Corps?” Guy crosses his arms.

            “Recently your anger has gotten the better of you,” Zalla speaks, “we have received reports of reckless actions, unnecessary violence, and insubordination.”

            “I still don’t see the punishment fitting the crime!” Guy defends, “it’s not like I haven’t done this stuff before!”

            “We have received at least three reports a day for the past four months.”

            Guy is silent after this. He tilts his head forward, boring holes into the ground.

            “It is not like we our happy doing this, Lantern Gardner,” Paalko says, “we have studied at great lengths the history of the Corps, and your name appears quite a bit. You are a Lantern with a proud and honorable legacy, Guy Gardener. We only wish to keep this legacy in tact.”

            “So how’s taking my ring away from me going to do that?” Guy rolls his eyes.

            “Use this time away from the Corps to relax,” Zalla answers, “you have been on active duty ever since the Corps has returned from the previous universe. Do you not wish to… ‘wind down’ as they say.”

            Guy thinks back on his time in the other universe. How each moment was a fight for survival, and even when he thought he could relax it was all a trap in the end. Getting back, which seemed impossible in the final moments, was a battle all up until the end as well.

            He’s not going to say he hasn’t tried to take it slow. After making it back to where the Corps should be, he shot over to Earth with John. He wanted to see what life has been doing, how it’s been biding its time while waiting for him to return.

            He shot back into space in less than 24 hours.

            “Winding down is probably the last thing I want to do,” Guy says, more to himself than to his audience.

            Winding down, to Guy, means letting his brain shut off. That leads to letting his body take control.

            He doesn’t like what happens when his body has free reign to do what it wants.

            Especially recently.

            “Even so,” Paalko responds, “allowing you to have your ring at this time would be a mistake we dare not wish to make.”

            Guy’s about to make another plea when the doors behind him barge open: John and Kyle enter, with Salaak following behind.

            “I am sorry, Guardians,” Salaak apologizes, “I tried to stop them-“

            “It is okay, Salaak,” Paalko smiles, “they are allowed in. We are honestly surprised you were able to keep them at bay for _this_ long.”

            Salaak sighs, “Thank you, sir.” He leaves, closing the doors behind him.

            “Lanterns Rayner and Stewart,” Paalko starts, “we welcome you to our chambers. However, before you start, it is best to tell you that our decisions are unlikely to be swayed by your opinions.”

            The two Lanterns in question raise their brows in surprise, but remained undeterred.

            “Guy shouldn’t be punished,” Kyle starts, “when I walked in, the fight was picking up on both sides-“

            “We have witnesses who say that Guy instigated the most recent fight in question,” Quaros interrupts, “In fact, we have transcripts of many witness statements that place Lantern Gardner as the instigator of many fights in recent weeks.”

            “But, this is classic Guy,” John tries this time, joking, “sure he’s hotheaded. But give him a cold beer and a nice woman and he’ll be fine in the morning!”

            “Thanks, John,” Guy sours, “nice to see you went all out with my defense.”

            “What?” John turns.

            “Nevertheless,” Zalla speaks, “the heat of Gardner’s head has become too much for this Corps to handle. That is why we stand firm in our decision to remove him from this Corps.”

            “Remove him!” the two Lanterns gasp.

            “You can’t remove him over a few misdemeanors!” John yells.

            Kyle joins in, “He’s done too much for this Corps to deserve this treatment!”

            “Guys, guys!” Guy stops them, “Let it go. For once, I think we ain’t gonna win this battle.”

            The Lanterns turn on him, giving him strange looks.

            “Are you really giving up?”

            “Maybe I am,” Guy starts, “Or maybe I am finally learning to choose my battles. Or, maybe, maybe I’m just _tired_.” He twists the emerald ring from his finger, tossing it towards the little blue people behind their wooden barrier. “Take it. If this is what you want, I’ll do it,” he sighs, dejectedly.

            “Honestly, we wish it would not have come to this,” Paalko takes the ring into his hand, “If we saw any way that would allow you to continue your work in the Corps, we would take it. But we believe Corps activity might actually be furthering the problem at hand than fixing it. Once you have resolved whatever it is that is troubling you, you are welcome once more in the Corps. But until then… the ring remains with us.”

            The Guardians stand, exiting the room from the closest door.

            Guy remains upright, fists at his sides. He’s in a simple white shirt and sweatpants, not having found the need to diversify his wardrobe since he rarely took off his uniform.

            “You okay?” John asks, resting his hand on Guy’s shoulder.

            Guy can feel the ring thrumming through his thin shirt material. He shrugs his friend’s hand off of him.

            “I’ll live,” Guy grumbles, “Not happy with the decision, but there’s not much I can do.”

            “When are you ever happy, anyway?” Kyle jokes, hoping to lift Guy’s spirit a tad.

            Guy’s shoulders sag even further after the joke instead, his frown sadder.

            “All you have to do is relax,” Kyle fumbles, “Shouldn’t be too hard. We can zip you over to Earth, drop you off wherever you want and-“

            Guy stops him, “I-uh, I’d rather _not_ go back to Earth right now.”

            The Lanterns blink in front of him.

            John speaks first, “What do you mean-“

            “If Earth is not suitable,” a voice says, farther back, “I may have an ideal location.”

            The three men turn to see that one of the Guardians has returned.

            “Yekop?” Gardner asks, “What do you have in mind?”

            “I have a friend,” Yekop smiles, “who, I believe, would be the perfect person to help you on your journey.”

            “I don’t think this qualifies as a ‘journey’-“

            “Even so,” the Guardian waves off, “I have already contacted him. He would be delighted to help you. All he needs now is your consent.”

            Guy leans back on his heels. His mind whirls, thinking over the chance he was offered. Yekop is old, but sheltered. His social circle isn’t as big as he may like to think, so the fact he said he had a friend was the biggest surprise of his proposal. But the more Guy thinks about it, the more agreeable he finds it. Especially since it will get him out of talking to the Excavators behind him. They won’t stop digging until they strike emotional gold.

            “Sure,” Guy smiles, “I’ll do it. Should I go pack my bags?”

            “No need,” Yekop walks forward, turning Guy and leading him out the door. John and Kyle are hot on their heels.

            “’No need’?” Gardner parrots as he’s shoved through the doors and down the hall, “If I’m going on holiday I at least need to pack my bathing suit.”

            “Nonsense,” the Guardian, who is stronger than his size looks, waves off, “my friend informed me that you would only need yourself for the next few weeks.”

            “ _Weeks?_ ” Guy shouts, regretting his decision with every second, “Come on, I need to pack. If not, at least let me make sure someone watches over my bar! My livelihood!”

            “I am sure your friends will take on your responsibilities for you,” Yekop stops, the four of them outside the Guardian’s Hall, “Besides, I see my friend approaching as we speak.”

            A beam shoots itself through the atmosphere, slowing down to touch lightly onto Mogo’s surface.

            Guy takes him in, eyes widening at the realization of what _exactly_ he’s gotten himself into.

            “Shit…” he whispers.

            “Hello Lanterns, Yekop, Guy,” Saint Walker bows, “so nice to see all of you again.”

* * *

 

            Flying through the galaxy in a blue light is slow, Guy thinks. Not as slow as the Flash, but still slower than how he wishes he were travelling.

            “How are you feeling, Guy?” Saint Walker asks from his side.

            “Peachy,” Guy answers, crossing his arms from within the bubble.

            Guy knows the only reason they are going slower than they need to is because Walker has it in his head he could get Guy to talk.

            ‘ _Which he can’t_ ,’ Guy thinks.

            “I am really glad you agreed to spend your time on Astonia, Guy,” Saint Walker continues, “it’s a really big step to realize when you need help.”

            “I didn’t really ‘ _realize_ ’ it,” Guy scoffs, “more like ‘ _was forced to_ ’.”

            “Either way, you didn’t have to come with me,” Saint Walker smiles, “but you did anyway. I am glad. And I am certain that all will be well in time.”

            “Don’t think I did it just because of you, Blue,” Guy leans back, “Would’ve felt bad if I made you come all the way out there for nothing. Besides, I had nowhere else to go.”

            The silence resumes for a bit after that, until Guy realizes the silence is too much to handle without a shot of whiskey in his hand.

            “So, Blue,” Guy shifts in the bubble, “how do you know Yekop.”

            “We met during crises,” Walker starts, “but recently, he was chosen as the ambassador to Astonia to discuss the cooperation between the Green Lantern Corps and my Blue Lanterns. We spent many a night discussing our Corps, and I even taught him a thing or two.”

            “And they say you can’t have fun at work,” Guy jokes.

            “Well, when you love what you do,” Walker responds, “it no longer becomes work.”

            “Aren’t you just full of inspirational poster quotes,” Guy leans back in the bubble once more.

            “I beg pardon?”

            “Never mind,” Guy waves off, “so, this Astonia place you’ve been talking about, this the new Blue Lantern homeworld?”

            Saint Walker nods, “Indeed it is. After the Blue Light was able to regenerate, I established base on my old home world.”

            “And they were okay with this?”

            “My people understand how important the power of hope can be,” Walker explains, “They accepted the blue light with open arms.”

            “So now there’s an entire race of Blue Lanterns?”

            “No,” Walker’s voice gets quieter, “There is still only one Blue Lantern. I have not yet found someone not just with the qualities needed but also who _wishes_ to join the Blue Lantern Corps.”

            Guy scratches at his neck. He looks away from the Lantern and off into space. He realizes he hit a sore spot, and tries to move through the awkwardness.

            “So, Astonia?” Guy drawls, “nice place?”

            “You shall see for yourself,” Walker smiles, “We are here.”

            The Blue Lantern touches down on a grassy knoll. The bubble dissipates and Guy can feel the breeze tickle his face. Trees full of life spread out before him, green inter-spliced with reds, pinks and purples from flowers and fruits. He can hear water rushing in from a place he can’t see.

            “It’s beautiful…” Guy whispers, eyes widening to take in everything around him.

            “Thank you,” Saint Walker says, walking forward, “even though we see it every day, my people and I take pleasure from the beauty of our natural world every day. It can sometimes even be a… _spiritual experience_.”

            “I mean, uh…” Guy fumbles, “s’nice.”

            Walker smiles slyly, looking back at Guy for a second before continuing. He brushes through the forest, pulling back a branch to make his entrance. Walker holds the branch as an invitation.

            “I’m coming, I’m coming,” Guy calls, following.

            They trek through the forest at a quiet pace. This time the silence is filled with the sounds of the world around them. Birds sing a joyful chorus to his right. The brook he heard babbling before is louder and to his left. The leaves rustle underfoot, even in their pain releasing screams that sound pleasant to the ear.

            “We almost there?”

            “Just a few more steps…” Saint Walker says, stepping out into the sun, “And we are here.”

            Guy stops breathing. He takes in the vibrant city beneath him.

            In the center of the town, on the highest peak he can see, rests the Central Power Battery of the Blue Lanterns. Beneath it, four waterfalls stream down the sides of the rocky surface and flow into the town. The town, itself, has set itself up concentrically. Small houses surround the battery, shining bright with its own light of life.

            From where Guy stands at the top of a hill, he can see tiny specks going about their day. 

            “This where you live?” Guy jerks his thumb down at the town.

            “Yes, and no,” Walker answers, “I am considered a part of this town, but my dwelling is actually on the outskirts here, along the widest river.”

            Saint Walker turns towards his left and walks the short distance over to the small cottage that hid behind bushes and bramble. Behind the house, the water streams in the same key Guy heard before.

            “Didn’t know of a river that could climb hills,” Guy pockets his hands, scoffing.

            “With the power of hope, anything is possible,” his host informs him, “and these waters, which spring forth from the Blue Power Battery, are hope embodiment.” 

            “I feel like these hope speeches are gonna become a staple of my visit, aren’t they?” Guy raises a brow.

            “Perhaps,” Walker smiles.

            “Figures,” he chuckles.

            “Anyway, we have already spent a significant time sight seeing, I believe it’s time we begin.”

            Walker opens the door to his house, only stopping when Guy raises concern.

            “Begin?” Guy asks, “Begin what?”

            “Your training,” Saint Walker explains, “Yekop explained in his short message to me that your problems might be… beneath the surface.”

            “Beneath the…? You mean with me? With who I am?” Guy gets louder, “Listen, I’m just stressed. I was told I needed to relax, and I expected to sit poolside, not do the very thing I was told not to do!”

            “Be at peace, Gardner,” Walker placates, “The training you will undertake _is_ relaxation. The techniques I have perfected are to help unblock the areas within so you may find an inner peace.”

            “…I’m not following, Blue boy,” Guy shakes his head.

            Saint Walker chuckles, closing his door. “Allow me to explain better, then. Follow me.”

            Walker leaves his door and moves towards the river. Guy follows, curiously. The Blue Lantern stops in front of the lazy stream, looking into the crystal waters. He powers up his ring, using the blue light that shines forth to pick up a boulder nearby. The boulder hovers over to the river, waiting there.

            “This river represents the spirit that resides within us,” Walker explains, “when everything in our bodies and our minds are in harmony, the river runs smooth and on its course. However, when we internalize our problems and block our spirit, as so,” he drops the boulder, “our spirits are blocked from their course.” The river swells up, unable to continue its normal path. Instead it starts to build, and brimming over the edge. The water streams over to where Walker and Guy stand. Guy tries to keep his shoes from getting wet, but it’s futile.

            “Can you stop?” Guy snides.

            “And when our spirits are blocked, the mess leaks into other aspects of our lives. The results of this… are never good,” Walker finishes, returning the boulder to where it once was. The river returns to its normal flow.

            “So what?” Guy guesses, “You’re gonna help me ‘unblock’ whatever it is you and Yekop think is goin’ on in my… spirit, or whatever?”

            “That is the purpose of this visit, yes,” Walker moves back towards his door.

            Guy drops his shoulders in resignation: “Alright, I might as well give it a try. I am here.”

            “All will be well, Guy, if you put everything you have into trying,” Walker says, holding the door open for Guy.

            Guy enters, “So what’s the first step?”

            “First, we must strip ourselves of all reminders of the past that might weigh us down in the present.”

            “…Lost again, Blue.”

            “Please remove your clothing, Guy.” 

* * *

 

            “Can’t believe I’m actually doin’ this.”

            The air within Saint Walker’s cottage seems colder, with slight shifts of the wind puckering against his flushed skin. His freckles blend with the new tone. He squeezes his body tight, his pecs hanging over his arms. He crosses one leg over the other, crouching a tad.

            “Do not worry Guy, there is no judgment here.”

            From behind the screen, Saint Walker waits with his back turned.

            “I’m not ashamed of m’body,” Guy mumbles, “I’m ripped. I got, like, an 8-pack.”

            “Have you finished?”

            “Here, take my stinkin’ clothes,” Guy tosses the pile over screen, returning to his previous position.

            Guy can see Saint Walker bend over to pick up the articles, and the former Green Lantern feels sort of bad. However, the next thing Walker says discards the feeling.

            “This is not everything, Guy.”

            Guy runs even colder. “What’re you talkin’ bout? I gave you everythin’ I had, even the shirt of my back! _Especially_ the shirt off my back!”

            “There is still one thing missing.”

            Guy looks down, noticing the shock of white clothing covering his most private of parts.

            “No.”

            “Guy-“

            “No,” Guy continues, “I need ‘em!”

            “Your under layer is not necessary,” Walker says, “From my research the human race is the only species that finds it necessary to keep the areas of reproduction almost always covered. In fact, it is even taboo to mention it-“

            A pair of white briefs fly over the barrier and onto Walker’s head.

            “Alright, alright!” Guy relents, “if it’ll get you to shut up!”

            Walker takes the underwear and places it with the rest of Guy’s belongings. He picks up a stack with his ring and places it in what he hopes is in front of Guy without looking.

            “When you have those on, come meet me outside.”

            Saint Walker takes his leave, exiting his house into the warm weather of the outside. He never likes to stay indoors longer than it’s necessary, preferring the natural glow of the sun to any false, man-made light. He takes a seat on a rock nearby, crossing his legs over each other. Walker closes his eyes, quieting his mind, and begins to meditate. In seconds, without thought, Saint Walker begins to lift from the rock, surrounded by an ethereal blue light.

            It’s peaceful.

            Until Guy barges in.

            “You can’t be serious with this!”

            Walker opens an eye to take in Guy’s appearance.

            The former Green Lantern stands with his feet apart, and arms crossed over his chest. Across the chest rests a soft, cerulean sash. It lays diagonal on Guy’s pale skin, and the excess has been tied around his waist. His pants hug his waist tight, yet the fabric piles up the further it gets to his ankles. The crotch has been dropped considerably, and the fabric re-bunches around his ankles.

            “I thought this would be the perfect outfit to get comfortable in,” Walker re-shuts his eyes, “the material is woven from some of the softest fabrics my planet has to offer, and is modeled after traditional Blue Lantern garb.”

            “But don’t you think it’s a bit…” Guy tries to find the word, clenching his fists and toes scraping against the grass, “much?” He pulls at the material near his crotch, “I mean there’s a _lot_ of breathing room, here.”

            “If you do not care for it, Guy,” Walker smiles, “I could always let you wear the robe?”

            Guy blanches. “No, no, this is fine,” he relents, sticking his hands into the huge pockets.

            “Good,” Walker smiles, “then we will start with something easy today, to help get you started.”

            “I thought playing Dress-Up was the first task,” Guy grumbles, re-crossing his arms.

            “It was,” Walker unfolds, “but who said I was going to stop after that?”

            “I thought you said something…” Guy tries.

            “Very funny,” Walker chuckles, “now please take the place I was just in.”

            “Uhh, okay?” Guy moves over to the rock. He climbs on top, the rough edges digging into his skin through the soft yet thin material. He sits, hands clasped together and resting on the fabric. He kicks his feet, the skin of his heels tapping against the rock’s surface.

            Guy waits a couple of minutes for further instruction, only to find none.

            “Now what?” he asks.

            “Slow down your body and your mind,” Walker explains, “focus on your breathing and nothing else.”

            “That’s all?”

            “Well, yes,” Walker answers, “I mean, you can try sitting in different positions. I myself am rather fond of this one.” Walker floats again, arranging his legs the way they were before.

            Guy copies, folding his legs one on top of the other. He lays his hands on top of his knees, taking a deep breath in.

            “Close your eyes,” Walker starts, “Focus on your breathing, and nothing else.”

            Guy lets his eyes slip shut. He keeps taking large deep breathes at first, but after awhile lapses back into regular breathing.

            His body folds a bit, muscles relaxing the more he concentrated on his breathing. Thoughts leak out of his mind slowly, spiraling into the black he sees behind his eyelids.

            He breathes in. Guy can feel each muscle rise to greet the new air inside. He breathes out, and his body sags back to rest.

            ‘ _Not that hard at all_ ,’ Guy thinks smirking, ‘ _Maybe I won’t be here for weeks…_ ’

            An itch starts to form at the base of Guy’s spine. He sits straight.

            ‘ _Ignore it Guy,_ ’ he thinks to himself, ‘ _Focus on your shitty breathing_.’

            He breathes in deep once again and releases the hot air from his nostrils. He tries to concentrate on where he was before. The itch seems to turn into a twinge that spreads its way up Guy’s spine.

            ‘ _Need… to… ignore it_ ,’ Guy tries, ‘ _Need…to… SCRATCH!’_

            Guy releases an annoyed groan as he throws his arms back to scratch. He gets the spot. Unfortunately, he used too much force in his movements, and he throws himself from the rock by accident.

            “Gah!”

            He lands on his head.

            Saint Walker looks up, only to see Guy’s feet resting on top of the rock. He sighs, unfolding and flying over to see Guy try and lifting himself up.

            He holds a hand out to the prone ginger.

            “Need help?”

            Guy looks at the hand for a second before gripping it. Saint Walker drags Guy back to a sitting position on the rock.

            “How was it?”

            He scratches at his ear. “I guess this stuff is gonna be harder than I thought,” Guy answers.

            “Don’t be discouraged, friend,” Saint Walker lays a hand on Guy’s exposed shoulder, “you were doing a good job. We spent a good five minutes meditating. For a beginner, that was excellent work.”

            Guy blushes under the praise. He looks away. “So what’s next on the agenda?”

            Saint Walker smiles, “Dinner. Come, today was a great start, and there shall only be more in the coming weeks.”

            Guy returns the smile tight-lipped.

            “Great…” 

* * *

 

            “Great… just great!”

            Gardner falls onto the grass beneath him. The night sky is full of bright stars, and Astonia’s moon hangs high in the sky. Guy brings one foot up on his knee, rubbing into the arch with his hands.

            “So sore!” he groans. He continues kneading the skin for a few more minutes before his eyes catch the moonlight reflected on the river’s surface.

            An idea comes to mind.

            Guy pulls up the cuffs of his pants until they rest just below his knees. He then slides his feet slowly into the cool, refreshing water.

            “Nnng-aaahh,” Guy breathes out. The water feels good on his aching joints. He stretches, cracking everything like his knuckles, ankles, and even his neck. Once he’s satisfied, he leans back on his hands.

            His neck tips back. Guy is content to just sit, staring into the night.

            The past three weeks had been a slow torture. Every technique Saint Walker has tried had, in Guy’s opinion, failed.

            He and Saint Walker tried each day to perfect his meditation. But every time he did, he broke concentration and only ended up feeling frustrated, not calm.

            The worst attempt was made a couple days into his training. Usually, Saint Walker has him try at least four or five times a day. From after he wakes up and before he falls asleep, and after every meal. However, one day he was only able to meditate once. The reason being he completely blew up.

            For the stupidest of reasons.

            Guy had been feeling deterred after previous fruitless attempts. The silence during meditation time had been getting to him. He could only hear the rush of his blood sometimes, and other times voices: his, others, all saying stuff he doesn’t want to hear.

            Usually it’s just one or the other.

            That day was a perfect storm: the two were shouting over each other, screaming for Guy’s attention. He was doing his best to ignore both of them, trying to hold onto his breath like the fabled rope in gym class.

            Then the buzzing started.

            He didn’t know what kind of bug it was, all he knew was that it was annoying. The wings kept flapping around his ears, the buzzing had grown louder and louder with each second. It would have been welcome if the sounds inside his head didn’t see this as a challenge.

            He grit his teeth, putting all his energy into his breathing.

            It was not meant to last.

            “Quit it!”

            Guy explodes, jumping from his meditation rock to swat away the insect. He chases the bug, screaming profanities. He remembers finally catching the bug, squishing it between his palms. His face was as red as a Red Lantern. And he still shudders over how the blood felt… _nice_ on his skin.

            When he turned back to face Saint Walker there was no hiding the disappointment in the Astonian’s eyes.

            After apologizing, Guy was instructed to reflect for the rest of the day.

            Back in the present, Guy closes his eyes, leaning back even further. He kicks the river, sending water droplets flying everywhere.

            _‘Meditation was only the tip of the iceberg…_ ’

            Guy was also a failure at yoga.

            He didn’t think he would be, but he gave it that ol’ college try.

            If only he was as good as yoga as he was college.

            “Let your body go soft,” Walker started, going into the warrior pose, “your motions aren’t fluid enough.”

            Guy grumbled: “Sorry, still getting over the shock of you knowing what yoga was.”

            Walker smiled, happy, “Well, I did learn a few things on my trips to Earth.”

            The duo continued their yoga exercise while the sun hangs high in the sky. Walker took Guy and he somewhere new that day, the two hiking up to a higher peak to be closer to the sky.

            Guy was getting tired of all the walking, but Walker made sure he did it. He said that a great way to find inner peace was by truly connecting with and understanding nature.

            Yoga was also, apparently, another great way to truly connect and understand nature.

            “My back is bending in ways I don’t think it should, Blue,” Guy grunts. He wipes away the sweaty hair that has matted to his forehead.

            “I do believe it would be okay to stop for now,” Walker stands up with ease.

            Guy stands with less ease.

            “That was quite a work-out,” Guy wiped his body down with the cloth he used as his sash.

            “Sometimes we need to sweat out our troubles,” Saint Walker had said.

            “With as much trouble as I was having,” Guy snorted, “I came away from this drenched.”

            “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Guy,” Walker commented, “from what I saw you did a great job.”

            Guy shrugged, smirking, “Shouldn’t be thanking me. I dated someone very _flexible_ awhile back. Had to keep up.”

            “She must have been very talented then for you to pick up on the poses so quickly.”

            Guy had quieted after that. He looked away, his smile having fallen.

            “…Sure,” Guy remembers saying, “Something like that.”

            Guy lets go of the breath he was holding. He can’t remain on his elbows any longer, so he succumbs to gravity and falls back into the grass. His legs still, and he lets them sway within the river’s current.

            ‘ _If I had to pick the worst, though_ ,’ Guy thinks, ‘ _it would have to be that damn rock garden_.’

            Yoga wasn’t the only thing Saint Walker had picked up from Earth. While flying over Japan, Walker had stumbled upon an old man working the stone field with his wooden rake. Walker was so inspired by the idea, he returned to Astonia instantly to establish his own.

            It’s a short memory, really. Walker told Guy that the process was supposed to be repetitive and relaxing. That it was the process that would allow him to clear his mind and find the focus he needed.

            He got annoyed when every step he took ruined his work.

            He apologized for later breaking the rake.

            “This has not been easy.”

            “It never was supposed to be, Guy.”

            Guy sits up quick. He looks to his right to see Saint Walker staring into the distant wood, hands behind his back. Guy pulls his feet out of the water, folding them beneath him.

            “Do not be so stiff, friend,” Walker smiles down at him, “the night is too beautiful for such worries.”

            “If only the night _could_ stop my worries,” Guy mumbles.

            “Guy,” Walker kneels down, placing his hand on the other’s shoulder, “as I said, you were in _training_. It’s a process. You’ve been making progress, great progress. I’m really impressed with how well you’ve done in recent days.”

            “Sure I’ve done _okay_ ,” Guy sighs, “but I think this is as far as I’m gonna get. I’m thankful, I really am, for all you’ve done but-but I’m not gonna get any better.”

            “Do not say that Guy Gardner,” Walker stands, “do _not_ give up hope. Especially here.”

            “It’s not like I wanna, I just have to!”

            “You are making no sense Guy.”

            “I don’t understand it either, Blue,” Guy explains, “it’s like, I wanna get better. I don’t wanna be this way. I just… am. And I can’t find the way to make myself better. I don’t even know if there _is_ a way to make me better! I might as well just find the closest Red Lantern and take their ring-“

            _SLAP_

            Guy’s eyes widen as his skin welts from Walker’s hit.

            “I am sorry, friend,” Walker says, “but you were speaking nonsense.”

            “It’s… it’s okay,” Guy puts a hand over the mark, “I… deserved it.”

            Walker sighs, sitting down in his regular meditation pose.

            “No you did not,” he explains, “I acted out rashly because I cannot _stand_ when people lose hope and in my stupor I did something that is uncharacteristic of me. It is just… you should not be saying such things. I see so much potential within you Guy Gardner that for you to lose hope is a crime I must put to an end. And…”

            He trails off. Guy looks at him curiously.

            “And?” Guy asks, “And what?”

            “I didn’t want to use it,” Walker talks to himself, “but I believe it is the only option.”

            “What are you talking about?”

            “I believe I may know of something that can help you, Guy Gardner,” the Blue Lantern explains, “but I must know: do you trust me?”

            Guy turns away, thinking to himself. The next few minutes are silent, life having paused after that one question. Soon though, the ginger man turns back to his friend.

            “If it’ll help me,” Guy chokes out, “Yeah. I trust you with _everything_.” 

* * *

 

            “How far away is this place?”

            Guy keeps whacking away the branches, leaves flying everywhere. Walker, however, chuckles at his friend’s predicament. He dodges each branch Gardner sends flying back with simple movements and zero effort.

            “Our journey is almost over, Guy,” the Blue Lantern says, “our destination in sight.”

            Guy stops, leaning against a tree. “Good,” he sighs, “Because if I had to spend another day walking through bramble, I was gonna take your ring and-“

            “Please, Guy,” Walker rolls his eyes.

            “Sorry,” Guy apologizes, “blame it on all the twigs stuck between my toes.” He wipes the forest from his feet before turning back to face Saint Walker. He places his back on the tree to rest. “So,” he drawls, “just what is it we’re heading to?”

            Saint Walker sits on a nearby rock. “We are walking towards the source of Hope on this planet.”

            “Wait just a damn second there, Blue,” Guy stops him, “I thought the source was in that shiny blue bauble you have sitting on top of the mountain we were near.”

            “The Blue Lantern is where we harness the energy,” Walker explains, “but the source of the hope is in the water the Lantern produces. The four waterfalls that flow from beneath it contain the pure essence of hope that helps keep this world the paradise we see. And the reservoir of this hope is the pool in which all four rivers flow into each other.”

            Saint Walker gets up and continues walking forward, this time leading the party. Guy pushes himself up and jogs to catch up.

            “So I take it the waters have something that can help me?”

            “Indeed they do,” the Blue Lantern nods, “by submerging yourself in its waters you will find the answers to the many questions you seek.”

            “Is that all?” Guy blinks, “No special oaths? No chants? No wooden rakes?”

            “Not that I know of,” he admits, “I have not personally used the waters as there has been no need. But, if they are anything like the waters from Odym, I do not believe there should be any problems.”

            “So where is this pool anyway?” Guy looks around, head twisting every direction.

            “It is here.”

            The two stop at the mouth of a cave. It opens wide, most of the ground having given way to the rapids of the river. Animals loiter near the entrance, and show no sign of fear at the intruders.

            “In there?” Guy points, “Well then let’s get going.”

            “Good luck, my friend.”

            Guy stops. He whips his head around, “You ain’t coming?”

            “No,” Walker smiles, “This part is yours and yours alone to take. I should not be privy to your inner most secrets unless you are the one telling me.”

            Guy returns the smile. “Thank Bl- _Walker_ ,” he says, “I’ll be back.”

            The man turns back around, continuing his trek into the cavern. The air is moist and thick, so much so he can feel it stick to his skin. His footsteps echo in the dark space, the slaps bouncing back and forth for long periods of time. Guy follows the path of the river, eyes lost in the deep cerulean. The deeper he gets into the cave, the brighter the river seems to glow.

            “It really does have power…” Guy whispers.

            He continues down the path, taking care to not fall in as the strip of land narrows further and further.

            After some time, Guy stumbles upon a bright light. It’s semi-blinding, and he has to cover his eyes to get closer. His steps are cautious, as he can’t keep his eyes open with each step. Soon enough, even through closed eyes he can see the bright blue light.

            Guy keeps walking. He stops, thankfully because of his quick reflexes. His foot stops when he feels water beneath him instead of the craggy rock.

            The traveler opens his eyes; only to find the blinding light from before has given way. Having walked into the larger inner cavern, the light from the pool of water has become less blinding. The reason it hurt before was due to the crystallized stalactites hanging above. In shades of blues, whites, and purples, it took the ethereal cerulean glow and shone it throughout the large cavern, as well as shining out the entrances. There were four in total, including the one Guy walked through. Each were home to a different river. Yet, in this room, the rivers lost their individuality to unite as one.

            Guy gets lost in the beauty of the pool. He can see right down to the bottom. Notices the colored jewels that rest on the bottom like gravel. Gets lost in the mesmerizing blue glow it emits.

            “Pretty…” Guy mumbles, leaning down.

            He puts one hand in the water, overwhelmed by the amount of energy he feels. It washes over him through a single touch, each wave powerful yet calm: full of safety.

            “…Wow…”

            Guy is speechless. He cannot find the right words to express what he feels from just _touching_ the pool.

            He doesn’t know what will happen when he submerges himself in it.

            He’s scared.

            _He’s excited_.

            Guy stands back up and looks around. He blushes a bit, but tries to calm himself down.

            “No one’s here, Guy,” he mumbles to himself, arms around his waistline, “it’s okay.”

            He pulls his pants down in one swift motion, stepping out of the soft material to lay it off to the wayside. The sash comes off not soon after.

            Guy dips a toe in, a warm chill running through his body. It doesn’t take much time for Guy to fully submerge himself into the pool.

            He was not ready for the immense power surge that rushes into his body. The glow surrounds him, blankets him, and soon enough Guy feels _himself_ start to glow. He looks down at his hand where the pale white has taken on a blue tint. He gasps in shock, only to realize he opened his mouth underwater. He tries to swim back up to the top for air, only for the water to keep him where he floats.

            ‘ _So this is how I go?_ ’ Guy thinks, vision blacking out, _‘That’s weak_ …’

            His body goes limp. He continues floating in the glowing water. He remains glowing.

* * *

             _It’s dark._

_Guy doesn’t know whether his eyes are open or closed, that’s how dark it is. He can’t remember how he got there, wherever he is. He feels as if he had something important to do. Can sense a thrum of energy racing under his skin._

_There are voices. Voices he’s heard before. Voices from a memory turned into a nightmare long ago._

_“…Worthless…”_

_He shudders._

_“Y’r worthless, Guy.”_

_An image of his father comes to mind. He sees him, the shock of red hair and the half-filled beer bottle the two most noticeable features. The stained teeth are grit with fury, and there’s a fire and fury hidden under the haze in the man’s eyes not befitting a father._

_“Da-“_

_“Shuddup!”_

_The slap hurts worse than it ever did when he was younger. It sends him flying, hitting into an old drawer._

_He looks up, and Guy feels like a kid again. His father stands tall over him, the neck of the bottle hanging from loose fingers. The man brings it to his lips to finish it off before tossing it near Guy’s head. Reflexes kick in to save him from the worst of it, but glass shards still cut as they fall._

_“You’re useless,” Guy’s father slurs, coming closer, “You don’t do **shit**. Your brother gets good grades, is the star of his football team, and has tons of friends. Even your sister is starting to turn heads. But what are **you**?”_

_Guy lays there, taking it. He can’t move, can’t seem to respond. He doesn’t has to, as someone does it for him,_

_“I’ll tell you what he is.”_

_Guy cranes his neck to the side to see his brother, Gerard. He stands tall, striking in his police uniform, with a baseball bat over his shoulders._

_“He’s a **disappointment**.”_

_Guy looks away, flinching._

_“Couldn’t even make it as a policeman on Earth. Had to go out and be one where no one knew who he was. S’no wonder why he works in the **far reaches** of the galaxy.”_

_“No…” Guy chokes out._

_“Oh, is the poor widdle baby trying to defend himself?” Gerard leans in, “Pathetic.”_

_Guy tries to lean away. Tries to crawl inside himself. He can’t get himself small enough._

_“Leave him alone!”_

_Guy looks up quickly. He sees his sister, Gloria, standing to his father’s right. Her hand is splayed over her stomach, and her hair is a bright shock._

_“Gloria…” Guy whispers, hopefully._

_“It’s not like what you say is gonna hurt him,” Gloria smirks, “Spends so much time out in space, can’t **possibly** care about any of us.”_

_Guy finally gets the strength to lift himself up. He stares, heartbroken. His sister stares back in a bored manner, and with a lazy smirk. In her eyes he sees his latest memory with her._

_The reception had been nothing like he had thought. After spending a countless time in the other universe, he raced back to see his family. His first visit had him landing in front of his sister’s house. He searched for the spare key he knew was there and let himself in._

_“Guess who’s back!”_

_Silence._

_He searched the house until he realizes no one is home. Not wanting to leave, he sat down with a beer to wait._

_It was almost two hours before he heard the keys in the door. He stood; ready to greet his family when he heard a cascade of noise._

_It all went quiet when they saw him._

_Guy is quiet when he saw the bundle in his sister’s arms._

_“…Hey Guy,” Gloria spoke first. Beside her was a tall blonde, his arm around her. Gerald was to her left with bags in his hands._

_“Gloria,” Guy swallowed, “what… what’cha got there?”_

_They all took seats in the living room, and Guy had gotten another beer._

_“Say hello to little Gillian Marie Steinbaum.”_

_Guy looked at the little girl who blinked back at him. She had Gloria’s eyes, with tiny freckles splattered across her nose. The little tufts of hair are blonde like a strawberry. She gurgled, hand outstretched. She gripped the forefinger Guy extended._

_“Got your strength,” Guy commented off-handedly, mouth acting before his brain._

_“She’ll be a great cop, then,” Gerard smirked, and the new parents laughed at this joke. Guy, for his part, chuckled uncomfortably._

_“So you were pregnant?” Guy remembers asking._

_Gloria looked off to the side, lip under tooth. “Guy,” she started, “we’re sorry we didn’t tell you… its just-we didn’t have any way to reach you.”_

_“Besides,” Gerald added in, “we figured you’d prefer to just find out like this. We know how busy you can get.”_

_“Busy?” Guy asked, “Oh-yeah. Yeah, it gets, um… busy, up in space.”_

_“Yeah,” Gerard continued, “I mean, we can’t have you coming down for every little event. Like, like when I was promoted to Sargent.”_

_“Sargent?”_

_“Yeah, nothing big,” Gerald rushed, “Just a fancy badge, bigger paycheck, and a **lot** more work.”_

_The group laughed again, Guy’s was the only discordant one. He took a large swig of his beer to compensate._

_“Yeah, you have such an amazing life, Guy,” Gloria spoke up, “full of excitement, helping spread justice across the galaxy. What have you been up to?”_

_Guy smiles stiffly, “Y’know, just… stuff.”_

_The visit went on like that for another hour before Guy faked an emergency call. Granted, he did have an emergency. It was the kind that required him to drown himself at the nearest bar. After getting a nice blackout going, Guy flew back to Oa._

_“I care…”_

_“What was that Guy?” the Gloria before him asks._

_“I care,” Guy struggles to stand, taking his time, “I care about you. **All** of you.”_

_“Tell that to the photo albums,” Gerard shrugs, “To the Christmases, to our baby niece-“_

_“I wanted to be there,” Guy yells, “I want to be there for it all! Don’t you know it **kills** me every time I miss something important to the two of you.”_

_“Probably not much,” Guy’s father intervenes, “you’ve always been jealous of your siblings. Still are. They have everything you’ve always wanted. The family job. A loving partner. Kids. You hate them for having the life you always wanted and they know it.”_

_“So what if I want all that?” Guy shouts, “I’m allowed to want things. I can want more for my life than just a friggin’ green ring!”_

_“Then why don’t you go for it?”_

_Guy turns, blinded at first by the strong green light. It dims, and he sees three Earth Lanterns. John, Kyle, and Hal float close together._

_“Why don’t you?” Hal asks, arms crossed. He has a stupid smirk painted on his face._

_“I can do it!” Guy warbles with shaky confidence, “I… I can.”_

_“That doesn’t sound like he’s sure, fellas,” Kyle mocks, “Looks like Guy Gardner’s lost his will. Makes sense, since he’s already lost his ring!”_

_“I didn’t lose it!” Guy defends, “I can have it back anytime I want.”_

_“But if you want a normal life, Guy, why **would** you want it back?” John asks, “I mean, isn’t **that** the only thing keeping you from it?”_

_“It-I-“_

_“That’s not what’s doing it.”_

_Cold hands slide themselves across his chest. He feels a face resting near his._

_“Tora?”_

_“Guy, Guy, Guy,” she breathes, breath visible, “you were rough around the edges, but I could see the man beneath the surface. I might have actually loved you. But there was always one thing standing in the way… **you**.”_

_“W-what?”_

_“Always flying away, wanting to be the hero,” Tora explained, “when all I wanted was the man. You had a choice to make, and picked the easier of the two options.”_

_“I didn’t-It wasn’t,” Guy stumbles, “Tora, I had a duty-“_

_“You had no duty, Guy Gardner.”_

_Claws scrape against his chest; the hands now present a stark contrast in temperature from Tora’s. The smell of stale blood hangs in the air._

_“You always choose what’s easiest,” Bleez whispers to him, “you can’t handle when things get hard.”_

_“I can handle the hard stuff, Bleez,” Guy defends, “I put myself on the line all the time.”_

_“Throwing yourself into life-or-death situations is never hard when you don’t care what happens to yourself,” Bleez comments, “to you, the definition of hard is getting too close to people.”_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”_

_“You joke, you kiss, you fuck,” she lists, “but once real feeling gets involved you break away. You do it with lovers… friends… and family.”_

_“I don’t…” Guy trails off, “I…I do?”_

_“You left Earth because you couldn’t handle your father’s disappointment… you left the Green Lantern Corps when you figured it was easier to let loose your anger then control it… You left me when the reality of our relationship finally caught up to you.”_

_“I left you because you were evil.”_

_“Evil is subjective, Guy,” Bleez smirks, “you left because you were selfish.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“You leave because you’re afraid,” a new voice adds, “you’re afraid that once someone gets too close and sees the real you… they’ll leave you first.”_

_“…No…”_

_Black tendrils wind their way up Guy’s arms. His breathing starts to shorten, and his pupils shrink. A shudder runs up his back when he realizes who is here. The tendrils turn, forcing him to face Ausras. The succubus laughs at Guy’s frightened look._

_“You’re scared that the real you isn’t enough… that you are what everyone says about you… that there’s nothing **more** than red hair and anger. Made capturing your mind the easiest, honestly.”_

_“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Guy shouts._

_“I was inside your mind, Gardner,” Ausras laughs, “you may deny it, but you care about what others think of you: too much. You can’t handle when someone you care about is disappointed in you because you believe it proves everything you’ve always believed about yourself to be true.”_

_“No…”_

_“That you’re worthless.” His father._

_“No…”_

_“That you don’t care.” His siblings._

_“No…”_

_“That you’re nothing but a thoughtless renegade.” His friends._

_“No…”_

_“That you don’t deserve love.” Tora and Bleez._

_“No…”_

_“That all you’re good for is following orders like a **puppet**.” Ausras._

_Guy is released from the tentacles’ hold. He falls, eyes wide and dull. The voices continue to echo around him: each verbal jab striking him, causing him physical pain. It starts to swirl, like condors circling their pray. They wait until he is ready for the finishing blow._

_‘ **Maybe they’re right** ,’ Guy thinks, ‘ **I spend so much time denying it… but what if I should accept it**?’_

_Guy feels a spark in his chest, spreading throughout his body. His eyes flash blue._

_“Stop…”_

_The voices quiet._

_“You think you know me…” Guy pushes himself up, “You… you don’t. And you’re all right. It’s my fault. I made sure you wouldn’t know who I truly was because I was scared. Even I don’t know who I really am…”_

_“Who are you?”_

_It’s a whisper, but it is louder than any of the voices Guy has heard so far. He looks around, but cannot identify the source of the voice._

_“Who are you?” it repeats._

_“I’m… I’m Guy Gardner-“_

_“Who are you?”_

_“I’m a Green Lantern-“_

_“Who are **you**?”_

_“I’m just a man!” Guy shouts, “I’m a guy who is just trying his best, alright!”_

_It’s silent after that. Guy breathes heavy, exhausted after the ordeal he encountered. Soon though, the voice speaks up again._

_“And are you satisfied with this?”_

_“What?”_

_“Are you satisfied?”_

_Guy sits on his haunches. He thinks about his life. He recalls everything he’s done in his life: what he’s proud of and what he’s… not. Thinks of his relationships, of every life that has crossed his path._

_“Somewhat,” Guy finally answers._

_“Explain?”_

_“I have done a lot in my life,” Guy starts, “I’ve saved the world a few times… Fought the bad guy… kept up the good fight. But they were all right. I’ve done a shitty job of managing my personal life.”_

_“Are you going to do anything about it?”_

_“What are you talkin’ about?”_

_The darkness gives away to a low, blue glow. The voice speaks from everywhere around him, but with no corporeal source._

_“Your life has been quite a journey, Guy Gardner. You have worn many masks throughout your existence,” a row of himself spreads before him, allowing him to see himself at different points in his life, “Each one has hidden your true spirit. The one who cares about his family,” His siblings flash in front, smiling, “Who values the friends he has made, and hopes for their safety,” He sees people like Hal, John, Kyle, Kilowog, and others pop up before quickly dissipating, “And who only wishes to find someone to love no matter what.” The silhouette of a familiar body burns itself into the light. Guy knows who it is, and blushes._

_“I just, I’ve spent so long doing this,” Guy whispers, “How can I change?”_

_“It all starts with you, Guy Gardner,” the light starts to get brighter, “You must believe and hope in yourself to change and become better. To let your inner light shine through!” The light becomes blinding._

_“Wait! Wait!-“_

“Wait!”

            Guy surfaces, heaving long and loud breathes into the open sky. Walker is by his side instantly, arms around his shoulders, trying to calm him.

            “Guy! Guy!” Walker soothes, “Calm down. You’re back. You’re outside, with me.”

            “Wha-huh?” Guy mumbles.

            “The water carried you back out,” Walker explains, rubbing circles into the ginger’s back, “I dare not disturb you. You were under the water for nearly half a day, Guy and-are you crying?”

            Guy lifts a shaky hand to his cheek, pointless as his entire body is dripping wet.

            “I-I might be,” Guy admits. He stands, without care of his nudity, and Walker stands with him.

            Then, Guy hugs Walker. The Astonian is shocked, but returns the hug.

            “I take it things are alright?”

            “Well, not quite,” Guy admits, “but it’s like you say: All _will_ be well.”

* * *

             The air is cool on Guy’s body as he sits on the rock. His mind is completely blank, and his body is completely at rest. He can feel the cloth around his legs and chest, but does not focus on it. Sounds filter through him, keeping his body grounded to the world at large. His spirit, however, floats on the breeze. It delights in newfound freedom, broken chains rattling with the wind.

            “Sorry to disturb you, Guy,” Saint Walker says, “I thought you might like to know that dinner is ready.”

            Guy returns to the present and opens an eye. He unfolds his legs, letting his feet slide back onto the warm grass.

            “S’cool, Blue,” Guy stands, “Was pretty much done, anyway.”

            “You missed lunch.” Walker smiles.

            “Got carried away with it, s’all,” Guy returns.

            “I must say, you have made excellent progress in recent weeks, Guy,” Walker enters his house, “I think you’ve finally made it pass that block you were experiencing.”

            “Yeah, I think so too,” Guy sits at the wooden table, “I really got to thank you, Blue. If it wasn’t for that lake, I don’t think I would have really owned up to what was botherin’ me.”

            Saint Walker places the bowl in front of him. “So, I take it you’re all better?”

            Guy smirks, “No.”

            “No?”

            “I’ll never be better, not for a long time,” Guy explains, “but I’m on the path, and I can only go forward from there.”

            “Good,” Saint Walker says, “I was hoping you would say that.”

            “Meanin’?”

            “It takes a smart man to walk away when the problem appears to have been solved,” Saint Walker says, “but it is the wise man who keeps solving the problem, understanding it may never be solved.”

            “I’ve been called a wise ass before, Blue, but never just _wise_ ,” Guy laughs, taking a sip of the soup.

            “You really are, Guy,” Saint Walker smiles, “there’s a lot more to you that others may not see.”

            “Can’t really blame them,” Guy looks down, “some of it I didn’t want them to see.”

            “And now?”

            Guy looks up, smiling, “ Let ‘em see. Let ‘em see it _all_.”

            Walker smiles, “I really am proud of you, Guy. I’m sure everyone else will be when you return to Mogo.”

            Guy quiets, finding more interest in his soup. He stirs the spoon around a bit before speaking.

            “Actually, about that,” he starts, “I was actually _hopin’_ to disuss somethin’ with you, if you don’t mind?”

            Saint Walker puts his hand on Guy’s: “Please, tell me what you are thinking.”

* * *

             The Warriors bar is loud, as it usually is at night. Kilowog stands behind the bar, filling orders for the clientele while Guy was away. At the bar, all the Earth lanterns sit: from Hal Jordan to the newest recruit, Jessica Cruz.

            “I can’t believe this is your first time here, Jessica,” Hal says with glass in hand.

            Jessica smirks down at him, “I’ve been busy picking up after _your_ beat.”

            “She’s got you there, flyboy,” Kyle chuckles.

            “Calm down, you two,” John starts, “this place has been fight free for four months now, let’s keep it that way.”

            “Yeah, ever since Guy left, the amount of fights in general has went down,” Kyle admits.

            “I like the guy, really do,” Hal sips, “but I am glad to have a drink in peace.”

            Simon rolls his eyes, the only one without a drink, “Oh please, he’s not that bad.”

            “Eh,” John shrugs, “Guy likes to argue like we like to breath. I can only imagine what Saint Walker is goin’ through now.”

            “If he wasn’t a Saint before…” Hal snorts into his drink.

            Suddenly, the doors open. B’dg comes flying in, right at the area the Earth Lanterns were congregated.

            “Holy shit!” he squeaks, “you fuckers ain’t gonna believe what I just saw!”

            “Calm down, B’dg,” Simon placates his friend, “tell us.”

            “I just saw Guy and-“

            “Guy’s back?” Hal raises his brows, “So much for peace and quiet.”

            “That’s the thing, he’s back and-“

            “How’d he get back?” Kyle asks, “Did Saint Walker give him a ride? I mean, we would have been okay with picking him up.”

            “You’re not listening!” B’dg whines, “He’s here and-“

            “And I get to go back to training cadets instead of slinging drinks, thank God!”

            “He’s-aarggh!”

            “We’re sorry, B’dg,” Simon apologizes, fixing everyone with a stern look, “Please, go on.”

            “Thank you. It’s Guy. He’s-“

            The doors open yet again. Everyone turns to stare at the new entrant, and instantly the bar shuts down. Almost every jaw in the building is dropped as Guy Gardner stands in the entryway.

            His blue costume and ring stand in stark contrast to the surrounding green.

            “Hey everyone!” he smiles, “Miss me?”

* * *

 

            Guy sits on a stool between the Green Lanterns. Noise had returned to the bar, albeit at a much lower volume. He waits, smile affixed to his face, as his Earth friends take in his new wardrobe. The black fabric that extends past his neck covers his ears, and even though his sleeves end at the wrist, white strips of cloth are wrapped around his arm from the palm of his hand to halfway past his elbow. Guy stays true to the vest, however it buttons closed right of center, with a blue lantern symbol patch right over his left pec. Another strip of white fabric ties around his waist, with two tails extending down towards his feet. He wears black pants, again with white strips of fabric wrapped around his legs from calf to ankle. His shoes are simple and black.

            “Boy, I haven’t had alcohol in months,” Guy sips, “nothing to miss, really.”

            “Okay, now I know you’re not Guy,” Hal lights up his ring, lifting his hand. Kyle forces it down with a sour look.

            “It’s me fellas,” Guy rolls his eyes, “Didn’t change _too_ much.”

            “But you did change,” John says, “ _a lot_.”

            “Well, yeah,” Guy admits, “I kinda had to. I wasn’t the best kind of person recently.”

            “We can understand, Guy,” Kyle starts, “but does it really call for… this?”

            Guy looks down at his costume: “This? You mean the Blue Ring?”

            “Yeah,” Hal says, “Out of all the rings this is the one I’d picture you the least in. Even the Violet ring seems more right for you than this.”

            “Maybe old Guy,” Guy leans into his drink, more serious, “But I learned a few things about myself that makes this bauble fit right on my finger.”

            _“I wanna be a Blue Lantern.”_

_Guy just blurts the statement out, ready to get the conversation over with. He’d been thinking about it for a while, since his visit to the pool. Since he felt that blue spark alight within him. The thought had grown inside him since then, and he has made a decision. Saint Walker widens his eyes in shock.   He puts down his spoon and stands, facing away from Guy. He walks to the window._

_“Walker-“_

_“Since the resurgence of the Blue Light of Hope,” Walker starts, “I have been searching for someone to wield the light alongside me.”_

_“It’s been the duty of the newest Blue Lantern to choose who will be the next member of the Corps, yet it is hard when you are the only Lantern: a Lantern who had to witness the first extinction of the Blue Lanterns. Maybe that is why my search has not been as fruitful.”_

_“What…?” Guy asks._

_“I do not search for brethren,” Walker explains, “and if any come to me, I set my standards too high. I…I believe that, because of what I’ve been through, I must shoulder this burden alone, and yet…” he starts to chuckle, “Yet your time here has not only changed you.”_

_“I’m still kind of lost, Blue.”_

_“I miss being part of a Corps, Guy,” Walker turns around, facing him, “I miss having brothers and sisters who I could confide in. Who share the same struggles as I do. I thought my penance to my fallen brothers and sisters would be to bear this ring like a cross but I should have been doing the opposite. I should have been welcoming more sheep into the flock.”_

_“It’s not too late, Blue,” Guy stands now, “If there’s one thing I learned from this it’s that it’s never too late to start again.”_

_Walker and Guy share a heavy stare, and in their silence a thousand words are shared. The Blue Lantern is the first to look away._

_“I feared this might happen by taking you to the pools,” he walks over to a drawer, pulling it open, “but then again maybe the pool helped more than just you.” He walks back to Guy sitting down. He opens his palm to show a Blue Lantern ring._

_“I still must ask, though,” Walker says, “Why do you want to be a Blue Lantern?”_

_Guy retakes his seat. “I think it’s what I need right now. The Green Lantern Corps is great, but… I can’t help but feel I need more in my life. Just fighting evil isn’t what I want to be doing. I want to inspire others to choose a better path. All my life I’ve had people take chances on me, and I turned out all right. Still rough around the edges but overall not terrible. I want to show people that there is still a chance. That there is still hope to be a better person than they are now.”_

_Saint Walker smiles. He slides the ring forward on the table, closer to Guy. The ginger takes the ring in his fingers, sliding it onto his finger. It tingles where it rests, sending warmth spreading throughout his body._

_“You’ll know the oath,” Walker presents his power battery, “so say it, Brother Gardner.”_

_Guy stands, ring out and facing the battery._

_“In fearful day, in raging night,_

_With strong hearts full, our souls ignite._

_When all seems lost in the War of Light,_

_Look to the stars, for hope burns bright!”_

_The ring glows, and a blue fire burns itself up Guy’s body. In the flame’s wake, Guy’s new costume rests. He looks down at his new attire._

_“Gotta say, like the new threads,” he smiles, “Was worried for a sec I might actually get a robe.”_

_He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see a smiling Saint Walker._

_“Welcome to the Corps, Brother Gardner: Blue Lantern.”_

            Guy smiles, finishing the story. He finishes his beer, and pushes the glass away. He looks at his friends who all have varying looks on their faces.

            “So does this mean you’re done with the Corps?” Kyle asks.

            Guy sighs. “I don’t know,” he answers truthfully, “I will always love the Corps-you’re all family to me-but I need to do this right now. For me. And it’s not like I’m gonna ditch all of you here on Mogo. I’ll come back from time to time to catch up. There’ll probably even be some missions we can run together.”

            “And the bar?” Kilowog asks.

            Guy turns to his friend, laying a hand on his shoulder, “Yours to do with as you like, big guy.”

            Kilowog throws his hands up, “All I want to do is go back to training!”

            “Kilowog, you don’t have to bartend if you don’t want-“ Hal tries to say before he’s interrupted.

            “No, no,” the alien says, “I gotta. No one besides Guy and I know how to run this shithole.” He ties an apron around his waist, “If you’ll excuse me.” He leaves the group.

            “Well, if you want to be a Blue Lantern Guy,” John starts, “then we’re happy for you. As long as you’re happy.” Everyone agrees with this, even Hal.

            “Thanks guys,” Guy smiles, “It really means a lot for me to hear you say that.”

            “I think I’m gonna like this new Zen Guy,” Hal smiles, “means I’ll have less headaches.”

            “Hey, flyboy,” Guy turns to him, “just because I’m wearing blue doesn’t mean I still can’t give black and blues. And it’s _Brother Gardner_ to you.”

            The group laughs loud, signaling to the rest of the room that it is okay to return to their normal behavior. The Earthlings spend the rest of the night like that, laughing and trading stories about their time separated.

            Guy feels calming warmth inside him.

* * *

 

            Simon walks down a street in New Lantern City. He left the group after John and Hal got a tad too drunk and Jessica was trying to destroy the tequila supply with Kilowog and Kyle attempting to stop her.

            ‘ _Crazies_ …’

            “Hey, Baz, wait up!”

            Simon turns, shocked at the image of Guy Gardner running towards him. His heart beats a tad quicker. The closer Guy gets the warmer he feels.

            “Guy,” Simon smiles, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

            “Nothin’ really,” Guy smiles, rubbing the back of his neck, “Just wanted to talk.”

            Simon notices the Blue Lantern has a small blush and his eyes widen.

            ‘ _No he just had to run,_ ’ Simon thinks, _‘that’s all… right?_ ’

            “Talk about what?” Simon returns the smile, albeit smaller.

            “About…” Guy starts, “About what happened in the other universe.”

            Simon loses his smile as he remembers the incident back then.

            _The war between Lanterns was wild. Simon could remember seeing Kilowog and John having forgone their power, and started bashing each other through strength alone. The two creatures Ausras and Misras, the Blackest Nights, contented themselves to watch from their palace._

_Baz had just taken down Salaak when he heard a familiar roar. Then, he felt pain after the body slammed into him at high speeds. Simon and his attacker go crashing far away from the fight, between buildings._

_Simon turns his head to catch a glimpse of his attacker, only to startle at the shock of red hair,_

_“Guy?”_

_He’s punched._

_Standing above him, the Lantern in question has a dazed look in his eye as he continues his assault. Simon dodges the rest of his blows._

_“Guy, please,” Simon starts, “this isn’t you. You need to stop.”_

_“I can’t, Baz,” Guy answers robotically, “I must protect Ausras and Dismas from harm. They are salvation. They are our hope. I love them.”_

_“You don’t love them,” Simon returns the attack, “They’ve wormed their way into your mind!”_

_“No!” Guy answers, “It was Marinel! She’s got her grubby fingers in your brain, turned you over to her side! Please, stand down and let Ausras and Dismas **fix** you.”_

_Simon spits the blood that started to pool in his mouth out, “Never.”_

_Another punch._

_Simon lays on the ground, staring up at Guy as his ring forms a sword. He looks into the eyes of the man he’s gotten to know so well to see pale, blue eyes staring back._

_“I’m sorry I have to do this,” he says, but does not mean._

_Simon knows he would be, if he was in control of himself. But this is not Guy. Guy is trapped within the prison Ausras made for him: asleep at the controls. Simon then realizes he needs to wake him up._

_The sword is coming down, fast, giving Baz less time to think. He tries to search for an idea, something that might shock Guy out of his stupor._

_He reacts._

_He dodges the swing and grabs Guy’s arm, tugging him down. Guy falls with an ‘oof ‘onto Simon, where the Lantern proceeds with his quick plan._

_Simon kisses Guy._

_He realizes it might now work, but it might be the only ace up his sleeve right now._

_However, he doesn’t expect it to be this…_

_**Good.**_

_He pulls away slowly, opening his eyes he didn’t realize were closed. Guy blinks before him, eyes starting to return to themselves._

_“B-Baz?” he asks, “What just-what’s goin’ on?”_

_Simon stands, flushed. “I’ll explain later, right now we need to help our friends.”_

_Guy pauses, but nods after the beat. The two fly back to the battle, with a lot on their minds._

“Like I told you, Guy,” Simon turns, face red, “It was the only way that could bring you back to yourself.”

            Simon bites his lip.

            “A shame, then.”

            Simon’s breath catches in his throat. “What?” He keeps his back to the Blue Lantern, but cranes his neck to the side.

            “I was gonna say that I quite liked it,” Guy smiles, “Although I hope you were maybe lying before?”

            “You-you did?” Simon turns fully, hand at his heart in a loose fist.

            “You’ve been driving me up a wall, Simon,” Guy walks closer, “ever since we made it back to our universe, I couldn’t explain what you were doin’ to me. I’ve been kissed before… but never like _that_. I wanna see where it goes.”

            “And you’re okay with…” the obvious goes unstated.

            “I’m okay with it,” Guy smiles, taking up Simon’s field of vision, “Are you?”

            “Yeah…” Simon breathes, unable to move.

            They stay quiet for a beat before Guy breaks it.

            “I got something for you.”

            “What?”

            Guy leans closer, and all Baz can do is flutter his eyelids closed. After a minute of not feeling anything on his lips, he opens his eyes to see a blue, beautiful flower where Guy’s face was.

            “A flower?”

            Guy smiles, “It reminded me of you. I found it on Astonia near this really beautiful cave. I could take you there sometime? Or maybe dinner, a movie? Even a lazy patrol?”

            Simon takes the flower, studying the beautiful petals that range in different colors of blue in an ombre effect. He looks into Guy’s hopeful eyes and can’t help the bright smile.

            “I’d like that.”

            Guy beams, “Great!” He starts to rise, “Next week then, on Earth?”

            “It’s a date, Guy Gardner!” Simon calls up as Guy starts to fly away. Simon looks back at the flower and can’t help but feel a great surge of… hope. He’s not sure whether it’s the flower’s doing… or the flower giver’s.

            Guy, for his part, comes to a realization. While breaking through Mogo’s atmosphere to journey through the weightless reach of space, he notices something.

            In this moment, he has never felt lighter.

            And he smiles again, as Saint Walker’s voice comes to mind.

            "All will be well."

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it? Please, don't be afraid to show it by leaving a kudos or dropping a comment!


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